Clothes for Dogs: A Dog's Review

This is embarrassing.  I can't believe I'm even writing about this.  

There are certain dog breeds that are well known for wearing certain accessories.  The Saint Bernard has the mug of brandy.  The husky has the reins of a sled.  Paris Hilton has the chihuahua.  

The puggle has the holiday sweater.  

Shoot me.  

I wish I had the talent to voluntarily foam at the mouth when I wear this crap so The Big One would think I was rabid and just put me out of my misery.  

The stinging laughter coming from The Little One is enough to drive a dog crazy.  I try and try and try to kick, bite, and claw these things off of me.  Nothing works.  

These things serve no purpose.  I understood the dog cone when I got spayed.  I had an insatiable desire to lick my scar, and the cone was my crutch. 

I was weak.

With the sweaters and the ridiculous costumes The Little One makes me wear  (the peacock, the elf, the court jester) I can't even look at the dog in the mirror who looks just like me.  

Marf.  

Double Marf,

Molly